I think it’s only natural for you to review the year you've had, when your birthday comes around again. You reflect on everything that has taken place and when you have a birthday in November like I do, it’s also the perfect time to take stock of the entire year, generally.

2024 had started off fairly well actually. I had changed my mindset towards the dreaded first three months of the year. January can be such a tiresome period, but I was working to reframe my feelings towards it. In March, I had come back from a wonderful trip visiting my boyfriend and honestly, I was on a high. I also embarked on my first ever PR stay and it couldn’t have been at a more beautiful place. The Lord Crewe Arms in Northumberland has a particular sentimental value to me.

Then in the Spring, everything came crashing down. My boyfriend had decided to break up with me. The level of pain endured is one that I had never experienced before, and now, I have tremendous empathy for anybody going through heartbreak. I don’t plan to share too many intimate details, mostly because it’s in the past now. But I do want to give a massive thank you to my family, and especially my Dad, who would take my 3am calls and just stay on the other side of that line, and let me weep. It honestly felt like someone had died.

Grieving isn’t just about losing what we once had, it’s also about letting go of what we will never get to experience. In my case, it was a version of myself that would live a life with my partner and that was now gone.

My ex really showed me who he was in the months following the break up. But, now I can say, I am truly grateful. He had broken up with me for his reasons, but indirectly, he saved me. His actions help me course correct back onto the path I am supposed to be on. So how can I be sad or mad? He gave me the greatest gift.

And so, Summer was a time to get to work on myself.

Healing is not linear and anyone who goes through a dramatic shift knows that you will go up and down a lot. But - I set out some goals for myself and I was determined to achieve them all. I focused on health, with the gym and therapy, and I concentrated on learning to drive. I wanted a car because I was sick of public transport and taxis to get to the countryside! I lost a lot of weight and presently, I am the fittest I have ever been. That’s saying a lot as a girl growing up with zero interest in P.E. You can find yourself really focusing on the external factors, but the challenge is the mental game.

I was reframing how I wanted to approach my life. Last year, when I turned 30, it felt pretty lacklustre. I was determined that in my 30th year, I was going to live it up! And boy did I!

Campaigns, brand collaborations, PR events, hotel stays - it’s been insane! I can only thank the incredible brands and agencies I have had the privilege to work with. And it wouldn’t be possible without the people following me on socials and even reading articles like this, today. They say, when it rains, it pours and this applies to positive things as well. I wanted to take every opportunity and make it worthwhile.

In the process, I have met some amazing people, just beautiful souls who have embraced me in the countryside content world. Instagram pals became real life friends and I feel they have made me a better person. I couldn’t ask for a more inclusive community. Then BAM - Grazia Magazine happened!

That is definitely one of my highlights this year. I am not ashamed to say, I bought several copies haha! A widely circulated article shared my thoughts on house buying, and the outpour of support was incredible. Women from different places, of all different ages, were reaching out to me via social media and sharing their stories on how challenging it was/is to buy as a single woman. I was blown away and felt so honoured to listen to people’s journeys.

It was the sweetest cherry to top my incredible Summer sundae. And Summer wasn’t over just yet.

I was flying out to Turkey, literally minutes from boarding my flight and I was typing up a resignation email and negotiating my contract for a new job! A fresh start was truly beginning.

After almost a decade, I was moving out of the film and TV industry and exploring Architectural Visualisation and Digital Twins. Not a field I have ever worked in before, absolutely terrifying, but I wasn’t going to let that deter me.

Summer drew to a close, I passed my driving and I braved the motorways for the first time to head to the Burghley Horse Trials. When I came back from Turkey, it was time to start a new beginning in my career.

*How can I forget that I saw Taylor Swift this summer?!*

Autumn has always been my favourite time of the year. I had dipped my toe back into the dating pool in the summer, but now, I am ready to go swimming! My experiences haven’t been as horrifying as I have heard it could be. On the contrary, I am really enjoying dating and singledom. It feels good to welcome attention and be spoiled a lot by admirers. It continues to be a fun ride!

Going back into therapy had forced me to hold a mirror up. Certain behavioural traits I had developed since childhood, were a massive hindrance when it came to my discernment in life. Focusing on decentralising unfavourable habits held me more accountable. That’s always tough, because in your life narrative, you want to be the victim in your own story, not the bully.

It’s still an ongoing process. Undoing habitual patterns is a day by day journey, and there is no fixed term in healing. But it’s the same with the gym, little by little, you see changes in results. What a difference a year makes…

I don’t even recognise 2023 Nehir. She was a wonderful woman but she could only take me so far. I much prefer 2024 Nehir. She’s braver, a little wilder, and much less judgemental. For those unfamiliar with astrology, the Scorpio (my sign) is the sign of transformation. It’s also the sign of death and rebirth. This can mean the death of a phase or a chapter (it’s not always literal).

Learning to let go of what once was, is hard for anybody. Whether we’d like to admit it or not, we humans don’t actually like change. Change breeds fear of the unknown. Let’s be honest, it feels much safer to travel down the road we’re more familiar with, even if we know that road no longer takes us to good places. Because the road less travelled could be dangerous, the path is unclear, we don’t know where it could lead us. It’s scary, but it can also be exhilarating. You could go further than you ever thought you imagined you could.

I believe that the Future You is an incredible being and will reach such heights that even maybe you thought were unreachable. And it all starts with Present You. It’s all in your hands, darling. No one is your biggest doubter or supporter, than you.

So we have seven weeks left in this year, what is to come for Winter? Well, I plan to spend more time with my family and friends. I am dying to get into Christmas mode and so today, I’m off to Selfridges! I fancy some splurging. I have a couple of trips planned before the end of the year as well. And of course, I want to set some goals for 2025, so we can kick 2024 Nehir’s butt.

Sometimes, the plans you have set are ripped apart, and it can feel like the ground was torn off from under you. But if you believe in something bigger than yourself (religion, universe, fate etc), then you learn to trust that it was all for the best. That where you’re headed now, is towards something even greater. Life is too damn short to wish for something that was never meant for you. I’d rather live in the things that are.

Turning 31

Cliveden House