Story time: How did I end up in Grazia Magazine?

*Just a note to say thank you to Grazia magazine (UK) for the feature. I am super grateful to Anna and Amit especially.

Click to read the article online here.

I had just bought my first pair of Abercrombie jeans and I was really feeling myself. I bounced along Carnaby Street, hugging my purchase. It had been a series of incredible weeks, and I was riding off the high.

‘Excuse me, we’re from Grazia magazine and we were wondering if we could interview you…”

Initially, I was to be interviewed on the street, then and there. It was a series running on their socials, where women were asking questions that would later be answered by MPs. The upcoming general election in the UK opens the doors for hard-hitting topics to be discussed. From healthcare to education, women could ask anything and Grazia magazine was including it in their ongoing campaign.

I want to buy a house. Not just that, but I want to buy a house in London. 

That’s right, frivolous spending is out the door and I’m welcoming in saving half my wages each month. Living in London, that is no small feat, so I am proud that I am able to be more money conscious.

A week later, Anna called me. We had pre-arranged the interview date and would be doing it over the phone. That’s why I love technology, I could do my interview whilst working from home. An hour later, Amit, the photographer, arrived at my front door. We chatted and photographed for 2 and a half hours. He was fantastic! He made me feel relaxed (I usually prefer to photograph myself and alone) and we just had so much fun as we tried different nooks and corners of my street. It all happened so fast!

Buying a house is super challenging and without support from my parents (no fault on their part) and being single, it is practically impossible to own a home in today’s age. It’s no coincidence that out of my friendship groups, the coupled-up friends are the only ones who have bought their first home. None of my single friends are even close to getting on the property ladder and it’s not always to do with low incomes. Whether we like to admit it or not, our society is systemically geared towards couples.

I had spoken with a mortgage advisor a couple of years ago, and though she wasn’t ill-intentioned, she exclaimed that there was ‘fat chance’ of me buying in London without a hefty deposit. I can empathise with my friends who have given up and resigned to the fact that they will be renting for a long, long time. It’s not just in London, my gal pals in other areas of the UK speak of the same issue. Most of them feel they will never own and so why bother with work pressures if there is no pay out.

Following the publication of the article, I have had dozens of women in their 30s, 40s, 50s and even their 60s reach out to me via Instagram and Facebook. Some had gone through bitter divorces and were starting again. Some have been single their entire lives and have only just managed to buy in their maturer years.  I want to thank all the women who have reached out to me, I feel very privileged to hear your stories. 

The system is broken, but we seem unwilling to fix it.

As I write this, I promise you that I am not bitter. I am so beyond happy for my coupled friends and their success in buying. I am not sitting here grumbling and my goal for buying isn’t because I stand on the principle that ‘I don’t need no man.’ In my values, I am fairly conservative. I hope to meet my future husband one day and that we would buy our home in the countryside together.

But for as long as I can remember, Granny Glean would always tell me, ‘Have financial independence .’ That was drilled into me, and since then, I have always wanted to purchase my own place. Something that was tangible, a long-term investment that I could say, I own. It is not because I don’t want to share with a partner. It’s just that I have been self-sufficient for a decade, and I don’t see that changing, with or without a man in my life. A partner should be an addition, not a lifeline.

I also think it’s important that before combining resources, I have financial accountability and home ownership, independent of my partner. Take one look at my generation and you will see we are all getting married and having children much later. Moving into your boyfriend’s house is attractive, but it is also high risk. Especially, if you don’t have any stake or claim to the home in legal writing. No matter how much I may love the man, I can’t move into a home that he solely owns, and I have no claim. The little girl listening to her grandmother could never allow it.

If you are wanting to do this however, this is your choice. Do whatever you feel is best for you, I am not here to dictate your life. All I advise is, learn your legal rights. A Cohabitation Agreement for example, is a good contract to sign-off before moving in together. Explore your options and then talk with your partner. You will also learn a lot about him from his reaction to this, and that’s all I’m saying on the matter…

I learned a lot of things from my previous relationship and granted, my ex did teach me the importance of financial accountability. Saving is crucial. Credit card debt is a real thing and can impact how much you can borrow for house buying. Now, I have an ISA and stocks account which brings in a tidy sum each month. Conversations on building a finance portfolio excite me! Twenty-year old Nehir would die. 

As much as I have gotten serious about my finances, I am also spiritual. I believe in fate and astrology (don’t laugh)! I believe you can speak things into existence. So how we speak to ourselves when we’re alone is very important. With that, I have manifested many wonderful things and home buying will be no exception. I envision a time where I own a home in London, a home abroad and a home in the countryside. My future husband will also have a flat in the city. Individually we did the work and together, we combined our resources to build our family home and legacy.

Lofty dreams and visualising big goals - that’s my love language. Aim high and build the life you want. 

Whatever your situation right now - whether you’re single, coupled, living with friends - if you are trying to buy a home, then I wish you nothing but the best of luck. I am sending all the positive energies your way. Keep going and I hope you have a success story to tell me soon.